"Big Tires "
To the tune (?) of "Baby's Got Back"

I like big tires and I cannot lie!
That 650B really catches my eye
Lookin' to my right, see a Schwalbe Big Apple
All puffed up like a bottle of Snapple

You can say a lot of things 'bout a 23c
It may be fast, but it ain't sexy
You may think it takes you real quickly down the road
But face the facts man, it can't carry a load
That dang stringy thing is just plain old whimpy
Hit a curb with that and you gonna be gimpy

Some folks say they like a 21 -
That's thinner than bacon cooked slightly overdone
Wake up dude, what you gotta understand
Is you need some bulk, baby,
BULK baby - get it man!

You don't want to put up with a another pinch flat
Get the cush, baby, gotta like it like that
Looking like a melon that's ripe for the pickin'
Cuz when you take it offroad,
It needs to be stickin'!

Don't get me started on a wheedy 19
So damn skinny it's just obscene
Leave it for triathletes
or underaged teens!

Had a Quickbeam maiden voyage -
Just a cycling nirvana!
Covering rough roads
on a 32 Pasala.

With thanks/apologies to Sir-Mix-a-Lot. If I've got to explain this, you probaby won't get it. It's one of those things that began mid ride after reading one too many threads about tire size and ride cushiness... Hopefully (or perhaps "fearfully...), this will continue to expand over time.


updated: January 12, 2007






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